Since you read the last issue, you should know what I'm going to talk about. If you didn't, get off your tale and read it! I'll be talking about: the worst dressed superheroes of all time.
"Great. With this cape, no one will ever think I'm Clark Kent!" What a loser. I shouldn't even waste my time with him. What makes him think that he can call himself "the pinnacle of human perfection"? Let's move on.
His costume is so good, the bad guys get beat because they LAUGH AT HIM!!! What makes him think that an arrow can compete with an oozie. Get killed with your bad self.
He fights crime in his underwear! That would get me running. Doesn't he get cold? It would be a horrible sight to see him get out of the water. Oh, gross. I just got a mental picture. Excuse me while I throw up.
His costume is only a little bit better than the Beast's for the simple reason that he has a cape. What's up with his skin too? Doesn't he know what a tan is? He should get alife. Don't get me wrong, he's still a loser. But he beats the Beast. He sucks.
"Oh look, it's Doogie Howser!! Hey mom, Check it out. It's Doogie Howser!! Hey, wait up!" The only thing this guy has working for him is his speed. That way he could run away from all the people laughing at him and wanting a Doogie Howser autograph.
INDECENT EXOSURE! INDECENT EXPOSURE! Ya' know, there's nothing worse than a fat man running around public in a T-shirt and briefs. I am truly disgusted. Aren't there laws against that stuff? JUST WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?
Lastly;
Yes, you heard right, Catwoman! If you pay close attention to her costume, you'll wonder, "What ever happened to her figure?" And that color, it just doesn't do her justice. I feel sorry for saying this, but: Your costume bites!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get into a group that gives out better costumes or just make a new one. I know that you can do better than that.
Well, that's it for today folks. I gotta go. Tune in next
week as I talk about something or another.
Issue #6 - Written by Jason Moore
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